Thinking about having a baby through surrogacy? It can feel overwhelming, but breaking it down into clear steps makes it doable. Below you’ll find the main things to consider, from legal requirements to budgeting, all written in plain language.
First, understand the two main types: traditional and gestational. In a traditional surrogacy, the surrogate uses her own egg, so she’s both mother and carrier. In a gestational surrogacy, an embryo created with the intended parents’ or donors’ DNA is placed in the surrogate’s womb, meaning she has no genetic link to the baby. Most people choose gestational because it keeps the genetics with the intended parents.
Every country – and sometimes each state – has its own rules. In places where surrogacy is allowed, a written contract is mandatory. It outlines compensation, medical responsibilities, and parental rights. Work with a lawyer who specializes in reproductive law to make sure the contract protects everyone involved. Without a solid legal foundation, disputes can arise later, especially when it comes to establishing parenthood.
Medical screening comes next. Both the intended parents and the surrogate need health checks to ensure a safe pregnancy. The clinic will run hormone tests, genetic screenings, and a uterine evaluation for the surrogate. These steps help avoid complications and give you a realistic idea of success rates.
Choosing a surrogate is a personal decision. Some couples use an agency, which handles matching, background checks, and counseling. Others rely on personal connections, like a close friend or family member. Regardless of the route, make sure the surrogate is emotionally prepared and understands the commitment.
Budgeting is another big piece of the puzzle. Costs typically include medical expenses, legal fees, insurance, agency fees (if you use one), and compensation for the surrogate. In many regions, the total can range from $80,000 to $150,000. Ask for a detailed breakdown early on so you can plan accordingly and avoid surprise bills.
Insurance can be tricky. Some health plans cover the surrogate’s prenatal care, while others do not. Consider purchasing a separate policy that covers the pregnancy and delivery. Your clinic or agency can recommend providers that have experience with surrogacy cases.
Once the baby is born, the legal paperwork to establish parenthood must be filed quickly. In many places, a pre‑birth order grants you full parental rights, so you won’t need to adopt later. Your attorney will guide you through the necessary court filings and documentation.
After the birth, many intended parents stay in touch with the surrogate. Some build lasting friendships, while others prefer a brief thank‑you note and a gift. Respect her wishes and keep communication open but appropriate.
Surrogacy is a collaborative process that blends science, law, and emotion. By understanding each step, you can make informed choices and reduce stress. If you start with a solid plan, you’ll feel more confident moving forward and closer to holding your baby in your arms.
Andy Cohen blasted Martina Navratilova’s anti-surrogacy post, calling it “ill-informed and dumb” on his SiriusXM show. Navratilova had tweeted “surrogacy is just wrong” before deleting it after backlash. Her wife, Julia Lemigova, publicly disagreed on Watch What Happens Live. The clash spotlights divisions over assisted reproduction, even inside LGBTQ circles.
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